Monday, 26 May 1873

Since morning we had packed everything and I put on the grey dress. Around eleven the boy came to announce that M. Abramovitch had arrived. Maman not being ready, I went down to the hotel drawing room. We chatted for a few minutes. Paul was there. Then I asked Abramovitch to come through to the dining room where we would breakfast. I had scarcely ordered breakfast when Maman arrived, and within a few minutes M. Tormosoff as well, so we found ourselves five. The conversation was lively — they spoke of Nice, acquaintances, friends. M. Abramovitch was very kind to me. He said he always takes my side when I am accused, and that only the other day at the Pattons' they spoke of me and he took my defence vigorously. I am grateful to him. But I did not know I was already the subject of conversation in a salon, and they must have been speaking ill since he
took my defence. It grieves me a little, all the more so since I have done nothing wrong.
He gave me two of his cards to deliver to M. and Mme Patton. I gave them to Maman, for if I delivered them myself, those scoundrels the Pattons might say more nonsense.
Paul went out to pay the bill and Abramovitch sat down beside me (he had been opposite). Maman was talking with Tormosoff and I with Abramovitch. When I showed him the fabric sample of my travelling costume, he took it with an absent air, [Crossed out: as if he were not looking] looked at it, and when I held out my hand to take it back, he quickly tore off half and put it in his purse. I wanted to ask why, but he quickly changed the subject. And then such nonsense! He took from his purse an English plaster and offered it to me in case I cut my finger in the journey. Maman turned around then, smiled, and looked at him with an expression I cannot explain — if it were not about me, I would say she looked as if to say:
— Do not make a fool of yourself; she is still a child, and you imagine she is a young lady to whom one may pay court.
I do not know why he offered me that. Ah! yes — probably he imagined I would take an exchange of keepsakes for my sample. I understood, but I looked as if I understood nothing. He remained confused, and after a few words we changed tone again. When he gave me his cards, not wanting to crumple them I put them (how clumsy I am!) in my bodice. Then he said in an undertone!!: "How I should like to be a visiting card!" — or something of the sort. I was stung; it displeased me. M. Abramovitch said still more things of all sorts — they spoke of marriage, that Mme Markevitch must go to her husband because he orders it.
— One must not marry, you see! said M. Abramovitch.
— That depends, I replied.
— Well answered — I did not expect that! What is so good or fine about it?
He is very kind and good to me, for he speaks well of me everywhere. And above all he was charmed by the manner in which I received him when he came to take his leave. I received him then quite simply, without pretence, without grimaces, as I always receive everyone. M. Tormosoff even said that
Abramovitch speaks well of me everywhere.
At one o'clock Tormosoff and Abramovitch (who jokingly wanted to come to Nice with us) left. Mme Sapogenikoff and M. Yourkoff came a few minutes before our departure for the station. Maman received them in the hotel drawing room as well. Mme Sapogenikoff was very kind — she even kissed me and Maman. We went to the station with them in their landau. There we found M. Tormosoff. Abramovitch had an invitation in the country at one and could not come. Comte Grimau (formerly Audiffret) was leaving for Paris; Yourkoff offered to introduce him, but as we were not going the same way, and besides it was late. Paul stayed.
The train leaves at last and we quit Geneva. On the journey to Lyon we had French passengers — a velvet manufacturer who talked so much to Maman that she was dizzy from it. I did not lift my eyes from my book, the whole time, without saying a single word.
Arriving at Lyon, I begged Maman to take a sleeping compartment. We took one. How pleasant it is to be able to undress while travelling. We were perfectly at ease. But I did not sleep well because we were to arrive in Marseille at five, where one changes carriages, and I was afraid the conductor would open the door and see us like that.

Notes

In English in the original.