Friday, 11 April 1873

Grey, then fairly fine but windy.
At ten o'clock I went in to Maman and learned she is leaving at two for Geneva to settle a matter with Krumling — he wants, I believe, to take more than is owed him.
I wanted to go, and everything was agreed — I am going; everything was prepared; I put on my green cloth dress, the grey jacket, the hat. I was boiling with desire for change, for travel, to see Paul enormously, to see the Sapogenikoffs, Geneva itself — for it is so great a pleasure to revisit what one has seen some time ago. I was agitated by all this, but I do not know what happened — they say we may not go, and the thing is postponed to tomorrow. I am rather cross; I am always cross when something is postponed, good or bad. I prefer to finish everything — one is free, with a clear conscience.
At the promenade (vicuna wrap, grey hat, very smart, veil) — a fair number of people for this season; on foot at the promenade, on the Avenue de la Gare — I was much looked at, men especially.
Then by carriage we saw at the florist Sacco's an enormous bouquet, big enough for four people to sleep on; I got out; to the shop came the men from the Galve crowd and from the pigeon shooting to see the bouquet. I asked the price — three hundred francs!
I was well looked at. Then to Rumpelmayer's — myself, Mademoiselle Collignon, Maman, and Madame Anitchkoff. It is fine and fresh; I love that. I am cheerful, for people paid attention to me; I looked as well as I possibly can.
[Written across the page: In that crowd there was Fédus; he was looking at me and I got out because of that. I already knew him.]
What distresses me is that I cannot master arithmetic; I spend two hours at it, without result. I shall pray God to help me.