Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Sunday, 20 April 1884

Orthodox Easter.
Maman is better; she received visitors.
Only men came, fortunately; in the way of women, old Mme Ducos and Faleyeff and the Kanchines, MM. Missak, d'Alt, Bagnitsky, old Safray, Turquan, and even Tony.
All in all it was rather merry.
It was so cold this morning that I was back from Sèvres before two o'clock; it rained besides.
Monday, 21 April 1884 Tuesday, 22 April 1884 I go to see Julian and he says: medal — as if it were a real possibility. I am enchanted, and feel ready to paint pictures, sculpt statues, and write books, all at once. Books above all.
This is no life! Seeing no one, going nowhere!!! What is the point then!! Good God, I have said it a thousand times already, but there are moments when one must say it again. [Crossed out: so much so]
Buried alive, and now half dead.
God have mercy!