Thursday, 25 January 1883

Ah! I had rather not speak of it! It is atrocious! My ears! My ears! My ears! Since it has been like this I have white hairs by the quantity... Life is an almost unceasing anguish, and then the famous terror of a future still more!... dreadful... Ah! So with all that has [Crossed out: struck me.] It had to be! But this does not happen to anyone! But why me! Were not all these miseries enough?

This misfortune was needed too, this despair! This death!...