Monday, 4 September 1882

And so I caught cold and fell ill, just as the thrice-venerable Mère Jacob predicted. And a rather amusing letter from Bojidar in response to mine — in the vein of the Nice letter to Julian — signed Bojidar-tiste, Dina-toire and Marie-noceros.
I signed mine Andrey-acune, Andrey-au mur, Andrey de chaussé, Andrey-volution, etc. And then?
I wrote a little affectionate note to Tony. And then? And then! Then that is all.
And Russia... I remember last year — I had written that I was getting up at seven to go walking, and the next day at seven o'clock Michka was strolling in the garden in brand-new pearl-grey gloves; it was Rosalie he encountered...
Oh! it would be wonderful — for neither talent nor genius would count in the eyes of the majority as a great marriage. If I go... In the end I might see these young men only once or twice and what probability is there? In any case it is a month I would be stealing from my work... My painting would get done none the less — my two figures are fixed and drawn; it is work where there is almost none, everything lies in the effect and a month is more than enough. So if I lose September I have October and up to the 15th of November to do it. And if I come back married — oh, happiness!... It seems that one of them — the one Paul intends for me — is the one who stole my portrait from Michka; it seems therefore that this one, and his name is Vassily, is the most charming and honest fellow in the world. I would be a perfect wife... If only by dignity and pride...
And away with you, you invalid creature who dreams of conquests — idiot.