Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Saturday, 20 March 1880

I go out to complete the formalities of registration forms, etc., etc. At the Salon there is a crowd and paintings and wagons and artists!
I go to the Under-Secretary of State to have him sign my form, the extension having been granted to Mlle Bashkirtseff while my painting is signed Russ.
Besides, here is a draft of the form. [Missing] He is very nice. Turquet tells me that people have spoken to him about my painting, then... in short, I no longer remember exactly all the errands I ran.
Everyone in the afternoon congratulates me on the extension, and those who have seen the painting congratulate me even more. All this nearly turns my head.
A feeling of unease in the evening... Soutzo poses as a friend and advises me to devote myself to painting, given my immense talent.
Do you think I shall marry no one because I do not want you!!
It would be a pity to abandon painting!
I would not abandon it for that.
You will marry?
Certainly -- not with you, of course, but with another.
Oh! I know well, I never thought, I always believed that... and I knew it in advance...
Well, that irritates me! He says he is not even in love; knowing himself unworthy, he has killed that feeling. All that irritates me, but the devil take it!