Friday, 26 April 1878

He was not lying after all when he said he had a long article to write. I read it as usual.
But what a fright this morning! Grand-papa nearly died. Thank God he is better.
We go to church at three o’clock — it is our Good Friday. All this makes me think of my vow and my promise of last Sunday... I ask nothing better than to keep it.
Ah! If only it were already Monday so that I might resume in earnest my studies, so uselessly interrupted by Schaeppi’s concoctions!
I was no more foolish yesterday than on the occasions when I come out with those cutting remarks that Multedo adores. If one were to believe everything my brother says, one’s head would be turned by one’s foot alone. That is his weak side, his morbid side.
A cottage and her foot!! That is his motto. Fortunately I do not believe what he says, otherwise I should have to believe I am the most marvellously extraordinary creature in the world. And all this from the fraternal and artistic point of view... which makes it truly charming. As for my wit — he has said nothing to me of it bluntly and plainly, but I am entitled to believe I am prodigiously amusing...
What a confounded humbug. Oh! There speaks my modesty. No matter — I am still a little under the spell of a flattery as flattering as it was artistically administered. He was in a good humour yesterday, that devil of a man; as for me it was impossible to be coquettish — I had quite forgotten to be, and one had to content oneself with a perfectly natural manner. When I am in good humour I must be kind to everyone; to Cassagnac as well, no doubt; so I claim no credit — only if, put into good spirits by some Mlle Acard or other, he comes to pay us his courtesies... By Jove! Disinterested as I am, I should find that damnably detestable.
What style, what language! One can tell I have seen Paul de Cassagnac.

Notes

The Russian Church kept the Julian calendar: in 1878 Orthodox Easter fell on 28 April (Gregorian), so its Good Friday was 26 April, a week after the Catholic one (19 April). ↩
In French in the original: Bigre. ↩