Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Friday, 28 September 1877

The first person I see on entering the restaurant is Schininà. Just think! So many things from Naples, so much news — all of which I already knew except for one, the most important, and the most delightful. Count Francesco de Balzorano has at last married Giselle. How pleased I am!
How happy those two rascals must be! I do not even know them, these young people, yet I assure you this news gives me great pleasure. Besides, their happiness or unhappiness has always been a public matter. There are people who are so naturally likeable, whom everyone loves. May God bless them and grant them long life. They have been married a month.
I returned to Edmond's and here is the exact meaning, if not the precise words, of his long prediction.
"You have been of late, and you are now, in a state of extreme hesitation; you do not know which way to turn.
— What is the month of your birth?
— November.
— How old are you?
— Eighteen.
— Which animals do you like best?
— The dog and the horse.
— Good. The last three months and the first three months of the year will be favourable to you, as will Wednesdays and Thursdays, provided they do not fall on the 4th, 14th, or 24th. The number 4 will be fatal to you. You were not born under an ordinary star. You are under the influence of Mars and Jupiter.
By reason of Mars you will have premonitions, you will... divine things before knowing them sometimes, etc. You are anxious, often discouraged, but never debase yourself — always rise; you are made to move among the highest spheres, among sovereigns.
You are of extreme susceptibility; it is the platitudes, the petty meannesses, the pinpricks that revolt you and drive you to distraction, while you can bear a well-delivered blow from a club. Over your entire past there has hung a kind of fatality [word cancelled]. You believed you missed two marriages, but in reality you missed nothing at all. One was an overwrought madman who would have made you quite miserable; the other would have been an ocean of calamities of every sort. So all is for the best.
There is a woman who loves you greatly and who is trying to gain you entry into a particular circle; this woman had in former times powerful connections, the protection of a sovereign. She will succeed, but despite her age she is young and inconsistent, and it is you who are like an old woman because you have raised yourself. (Note that I had not opened my mouth and was dressed in the most distinguished and simple fashion.) There is a temporary establishment here — make no great expense, it will be temporary; then you will make a journey to the South that will freshen your ideas, that will do you good. Then there will be another, more settled establishment. Note that there are two, and two changes. The first will bring you only calm and a relative well-being; the second will be very happy. But first, in this circle you will enter, be content with a position of the second rank — the rest will come little by little. Sing the praises of women, instead of crushing them as you do; they will build you a pedestal.
Be well disposed toward older people — they will build you a pedestal. Behind you there are terrible hatreds from women. Flatter them. You inspire very strong affections, but they pass quickly, so that you yourself cannot make sense of them and wonder what it means. It is that you do not know how to go about it!
Do not crush people, and do not let them see that they are indispensable. Be equable. Do not write letters that are too long! Instead of explaining things they muddle them and cause trouble. Far from you there is a fair-haired man who wishes you well and who will do you good and help you. His name begins with an M (Marcuard?). The woman's name begins with a B (Bashkirtseff?). You will run three dangers. The first from a madman who will wish to kill you — a lover, perhaps; the second in a fire. You will have another name besides your family name; it will be a name of circumstance, a borrowed name. That name will be attached to objects of great value, to works of art; printed in newspapers, in books. You will obtain an enviable position; you will replace a woman to whom an accident will occur. You will hold this position — you will be appointed to it by a special order, you will be very proud of it, it will be mentioned in the papers, you will put it on your writing paper; it will be like an honorary, special title. Your hand is made to command a great many people. Never descend, whatever may happen, and always say to yourself, whatever the present circumstances: I shall get the better of everything! You will be the foremost of your family in celebrity, in position, name, and fortune.
You will have three fortunes: the first of which you will touch only the income; the second which will be entirely yours; the third of which you will dispose only upon the birth of a child or the death of an old man. At a deathbed a secret will be confided to you. You will save a military man's life — a duel or an assassination.
Whatever the preceding troubles may be, you will get the better of everything. Above all, change nothing in your manner of being, whatever position you may occupy — the more you pose, the worse off you are. Be what you are: that is what makes your charm. Do not be afraid. You have a long life. One child, and then perhaps another after a few years, and that will be all. Regret nothing in your past — there is nothing there worth spitting on. You have a different destiny from all that nonsense!
Great wills have made great destinies. Do not fraternize with the vulgar! You are appreciated by frank and honest people; you are enormously loved by those who know you well. The only ill that can befall you will be what spite drives you to do. But remember what I say: once love is gone, extend your hand and say: Let us be good friends. Do not do as common women do, but become friends again the moment love is no more. You will spare yourself many unpleasantnesses. Your star is not an ordinary star. You will attain everything, but not in your own country. An older man will interest himself in helping you obtain this employment, this position — only do not go too fast. There is something like a beginning, a success.
— But Monsieur, I see neither beginning nor success — it is impossible.
— But I tell you that you will discover aptitudes in yourself that perhaps you do not know you possess — aptitudes for the arts, for extraordinary things.
You will not marry until you have your twentieth year behind you. So much the better! This marriage will be spoken of beforehand, and while it is being spoken of, so will many others — but do not let yourself be diverted from it. In a moment of spite do not break any engagement; but above all do not make decisive commitments now — there is nothing settled. It is in a land surrounded by water that you will make your fortune. In the midst of a celebration your marriage will come about.
This gentleman is fair-haired, tall, with an open expression, a high brow; calm and kind. You will lead him. This man will be in mourning or there will be a mourning at the moment of all this. He bears the name of a country or a city and has a crown to his name.
[Written across the page: You will have many upheavals still, many journeys.]
During his absence or his removal from you, his family will treat you with platitudes and meannesses. It is a family extremely strict about etiquette — extremely so!
Soon you will form part of a ladies' committee, a particular society. Well then, try to flatter these ladies and do not go too fast. [Words cancelled: Like a charitable society.] There is a dark-haired man who will try to obstruct you in everything, and a thin little woman with small eyes that appear to be looking at the sun — a striking portrait of Mme Tutcheff — who will do you all the harm she can. Soon you will learn that a family that has greatly wronged you has been expelled... you will be rid of them at last.
There are endowments here whose revenues are disbursed by instalments. Wear oak leaves — they are worth more than violets. Place as many leaves as there are letters in your name in a blue amulet, and always wear it while thinking of something — and that something will come to pass. But once more, never descend; you will be at the very top of the ladder with the foremost of the foremost, with sovereigns. Do not be irritated by the meannesses of mean and base people! Let them criticize. One only criticizes what is worth criticizing.
A young man closely connected to you will become celebrated through the favour of a sovereign or a great lady. And that will redound upon you — so much the better.
In everything he said about the past and in his descriptions there is not a single false word. Everything is of a striking truth.
As for the future I cannot know anything yet — but I can assure you that I accept the prediction, and a hundred times over rather than once.
Why does he say such strange things to a young girl in a black dress and grey felt hat?
He seems to know my dreams; it is as if he had always lived with me. Who could have told him?
He consoled me, encouraged me, lifted me up. I find myself again; I am calm, I am proud, I am... almost sure of myself.
We went to see "La Tour de Nesle." Sometimes I adore melodramas and I love everything that bears the incomparable stamp of Alexandre Dumas. With all due respect to Monsieur Gaillardet! I had a fine time and ate crayfish on returning. There is a beautiful day. One detail: I eat only crayfish cooked in plain water. Wine sauces, etc., etc., are horrors.

Notes

La Tour de Nesle (1832): a hugely popular melodrama whose authorship was disputed between Alexandre Dumas père and Frédéric Gaillardet. ↩