Sunday, 26 November 1876
Saturday, 26 November 1876
# Dimanche 26 novembre 1876
— I have prepared one for you, Cassagnac told me; but, he added, I shall allow myself to offer it to Mademoiselle only after having asked the permission of Madame her mother.
— Good God, how proper Cassagnac is! said Blanc in his mocking tone.
— That seems to surprise you, I said.
Mon cher Cassagnac était déjà là, remplissant la moitié du salon.
— That brings good luck, sir — and it is a triple chance.
— I have all the luck I need, and need no more. See what a conceited fellow.2 Leaving the table, he caught on a lamp and a heap of other things on the mantelpiece; Mouzay had a moment of alarm, but the enormous deputy extended his arm and encircled everything that intended to fall... Ah, if only it were the same with the Empire.
Comme je ne mangeai que du raisin, il m'en mettait sans cesse sur l'assiette. Je renversai mon bocal qui renversa un verre de Pommard, qui entraîna dans sa chute un petit verre de vin de Syracuse et un autre petit verre vide. Tout ça sur le couvert de Cassagnac.
— What, he said — having me at your disposal, you said nothing to me about it!
— I hate to ask.
— It is the only way to obtain anything.
— Blanc! Telegram to my father that I absolutely need four seats for tomorrow's session — absolutely need them. I sat down in a ray of sunlight that gilded me entirely. Cassagnac is leaving tomorrow evening to hunt wild boar in Bavaria. He is certainly lying, and it is not to Bavaria that he is going.
Il s'offrit pour des billets à la Chambre.
— Really, dead?
— Wait. He went through his manoeuvres again and told me he could see him at last — but far from Italy, whence this letter came. This letter was written long ago; since then there has been a great upheaval in this person's life — a death in his family; relations broken with me.
— I can see him now. He is a young military man... he is far away, he is a soldier, he is travelling... and not by railway — oh no! On horseback, yes, on horseback; he is surrounded by foreign men, there are no women — he is in the East.
[Mots noircis : Je pris] sa lettre et je m'en allai chez Alexis avec maman et Dina.
A pair of undershorts, Some darned socks, A very old pair of trousers And two worn handkerchiefs. His horse stumbles beneath him, He is quite out of breath, His waistcoat is of plush And his nose... is frozen, stiff.
Ça ressemble à la Serbie-
— You have everything needed to be perfectly happy physically. But your spirit suffers and you are not happy. Oh, what a nervous system — it is frightening. You are too lively, you want to live too fast. You have (all too truly) an excessive need for affection and... you lack it. You are extremely susceptible in... affection above all, and nothing is easier than to wound you. Your nature needs... to be loved, and you are not loved enough — or you imagine it so. — Alexis. Ah! What a pity that Paul et Vir... no — Paul de Cassagnac is leaving tomorrow. This superb Creole4 had an anxious air, and Alexis told me so. How could he have known? Eh? He leaves tomorrow; moreover, he said today that he would not go to the Chamber... We shall see...
Ouf. Alexis prétend qu'il est excessivement malheureux.
— What a pity we shall not see you at Versailles, Maman told him.
— What does it matter?
— It matters that it would be agreeable to us to encounter you.
— What can that possibly matter to you?
— That, M. de Cassagnac, I said — you don't wish to be told agreeable things?
— Because I don't believe them. He is so tall... so broad, so stout, so dark. He had barely closed the door when a concert of praises broke out — and immediately he came back in like a hurricane to fetch his gloves. It was dreadful; fortunately I had said nothing. [Four lines cancelled]
Il est si drôle.
— Permit me, dear child, said the Baroness, to present M. Janvier de La Motte, the leader of his party and consequently your friend. I bowed while introductions were being made around me.
— Is there a seat? said a sharp voice suddenly from outside.
— Ah, it is my son, said M. Janvier de La Motte — yes, there is a seat; get in. The son was presented — resembling his father enormously. A young man made of milk, blood, and ink. Moustaches and a small pointed beard. Twenty-seven or twenty-eight years old, as had been said.
Maman est si malade qu'on ne peut penser de l'emmener à Versailles. M. et Mme de Mertens nous vinrent prendre. J'étais habillée de blanc comme toujours, mais j'avais un bonnet de velours noir qui dorait admirablement mes cheveux blonds. Il pleuvait. Nous étions déjà en wagon lorsqu'arriva un monsieur décoré, jeune encore, un de ces Français par excellence moitié canaille moitié galant homme, aimable à l'apparence sec en réalité, bon pour tous, grossier et méchant au fond. Vaniteux et envieux, spirituel et stupide.
— That is what M. de Cassagnac was telling me yesterday, I said in reply to some phrase.
— You [words blacked out: have seen] Paul de Cassagnac, Mademoiselle?
— Yes, sir.
— And... where?
— At our place (I say "our place" for the Baroness, who was supposed not to know about the luncheon).
— At your place! His father: Paul de Cassagnac had the honour of being introduced to Mademoiselle yesterday! — this was almost shouted, as if asking: Why did you put me in this position, since Paul de Cassagnac...
— Oh no, I said coldly — not yesterday. Four months ago.
M. de La Motte père promenait ses yeux de moi à Dina ne sachant laquelle était elle . Je ne fis rien pour le renseigner, car tous deux me déplurent du premier abord. Le jeune député se prit à causer avec moi de choses de la politique.
Ce train de députés me rappela les trains du tir aux pigeons à Monaco seulement au lieu de fusil on a des portefeuilles. MM. de La Motte nous placèrent au premier rang à droite, au dessus des bonapartistes de sorte que nous étions juste en face des bancs républicains. La salle ou du moins le fauteuil du président et la tribune me rappelèrent encore le tir aux pigeons, seulement M. Grévy au lieu de tenir la ficelle des cages s'escrimait avec la sonnette ce qui n'empêcha point à la gauche d'interrompre plusieurs fois l'excellent discours du garde des Sceaux M. Dufaure. C'est un honnête homme et il a bravement et savamment lutté contre les infamies des chiens républicains.
S'il y a au monde une figure ignoble et repoussante c'est Gambetta. L'illustre faquin, le célèbre épicier, ne parla pas et pas un geste ne trahit sa pensée; il fermait les yeux et semblait dire : faites.
— She is far from displeasing to my son, I am quite sure of that; only one would need to know what she thinks of him. The blood rose to my face and I wanted to turn around and size him up with a look to make clear what I thought. Instead I ogled the Count of Mon — a handsome and agreeable legitimist: a deeply religious and honest man. The session was in any case very calm. It was still raining, and instead of seeking a cab we took the omnibus.
Ne vous dissimulez rien, c'est une vraie entrevue de mariage. Et le cynisme du Père... m'épouvanta. Il se penchait à l'oreille de Mme de Mertens et lui disait un tas choses comme si je n'étais pas là et entre autre:
— I wager you are admirably made, he said.
— Oh, sir, you are going a little far, it seems to me, I said, laughing so as not to be compelled to cause a scene. Then it was worse — the old fool woman and the old imbecile man spoke of my constitution, my blood, my flesh... as if of a mare at a stud farm. These curs think Cassagnac pleases me and have the tactlessness to speak ill of him. Cassagnac does not lie — he did not go to the Chamber yesterday and he has indeed left this evening.
Le retour a été aussi choquant qu'étrange.
Le résultat de cette séance pour moi... oui, Rome de plus en plus adorée... fait place à la ville impure, mercenaire, matérielle. La belle vision... je me punirai par Paris.