Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff

The hero of the novel is named Pietruccio1 — but Irène does not love him; she loves Leone, a liberal, and is loved by him. Pietro, Count Clementi, nephew of the cardinal who once made the people cry out and who is nothing now under the paternal reign of Pius IX (Mastai Ferretti)2 — Pietro, I say, pretends to be a liberal; it is doubtless in order to betray, for he is, I am certain, the cause of the misfortunes that will befall Irène, her fiancé, her brother, etc. — and above all Italy.

# Vendredi 23 juin 1876

Leone says he loves Italy more than Irène: "Italy before everything — before yourself." That is what my own friend used to say to me, and it would even make me angry.

Leone dit qu'il aime l'Italie mieux qu'Irène : « l'Italie avant tout, avant toi-même. » C'est ce que me disait mon ami à moi, et il me mettait même en colère.

— I love you, he would say; I love only you; I would kill myself if you commanded it — but Italy before you! If there is war I shall leave you; if my country has need of me I shall sacrifice myself and sacrifice everything to it. — Italy before me? I would cry. — Yes, before all: God and the fatherland. — Oh!

— Je vous aime, disait-il, je n'aime que vous, je me tuerai si vous l'ordonnez, mais avant vous l'Italie ! S'il y a la guerre je vous quitterai, si ma patrie a besoin de moi je me sacrifierai moi-même et je lui sacrifierai tout. - Avant moi l'Italie ? m'écriais-je. — Oui, avant tout, Dieu et la patrie. — Oh!

Then he would not even answer me — eyes raised toward something indefinable, he would work himself into a transport speaking of his patria. The only way not to be enraged is to merge oneself with the man and to begin loving that fatherland as he does. Oh, men! They say it only out of vanity, out of affectation — it is nothing but a pose! I would dearly like to see a man placed between his fatherland and a beloved woman — truly beloved — and then one would see quite clearly which he would choose, if no one were watching.

Alors il ne me répondait même pas et, les yeux levés vers on ne sait quoi, s'exaltait à parler de sa *patrie*. Le seul moyen de ne pas enrager c'est de ne faire qu'un avec l'homme et de se mettre à aimer comme lui cette patrie. O les hommes ! Ils ne le disent que par vanité, par affectation, ce n'est qu'une pose ! J'aimerais bien voir un homme placé entre sa patrie et une femme aimée, mais aimée réellement, et on verrait bien qui il choisirait s'il n'y avait personne pour le voir.

As we were going to the station to see Bibi off, the idea came to me to go too and make a little display of myself, for there is always someone arriving or departing there. It was very hot; I put on yellow Louis XIV-style shoes,3 a skirt with embroidered braid, and a Bedouin cloak worn in the manner of the people of Tunis — that is, with one arm passed up over the hood, which hangs like a long pocket beneath the arm. I looked very extraordinary but very pretty.

Comme on allait à la gare reconduire Bibi, l'idée me vint d'aller aussi faire de la coquetterie, car il y a là toujours quelque arrivant ou partant. Il faisait très chaud, je mis des souliers Louis XIV jaunes, une jupe à galon brodé et un bédouin mis à la manière des gens de Tunis, c'est-à-dire un bras passé au-dessus du capuchon qui pend en guise de longue poche sous le bras. J'avais l'air très extraordinaire mais très jolie.

Then I read — then I wept... looking at the portrait... What! I deign to love him, to look at him, to desire him — and he does not feel it, and it does not make him happy to the point of madness, and he does not love me enough to overturn everything, or to dash his head against the wall!

Puis j'ai lu, puis j'ai pleuré... en regardant le portrait... Comment ! Je daigne l'aimer, le regarder, le désirer et il ne le sent pas, et il n'en est pas heureux jusqu'à la folie, et il ne m'aime pas assez pour tout renverser, ou se casser le front contre le mur !

Notes

Pietruccio: Italian diminutive of Pietro — "little Pietro." The coincidence of the name with Pietro Antonelli cannot have escaped Marie.
Pope Pius IX's family name was Giovanni Maria Mastai Ferretti (1792–1878). He was still reigning at this time, though gravely ill.
Louis XIV-style shoes: heeled, with a buckle or decorative element — a period revival fashion popular in the 1870s.