Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Thursday, 13 November 1873

I must go riding -- this new horse. I am eager to finish my studies; I have added another hour of Latin and an hour with Brunet. When my lesson are done I rush out of the room. (I bought a globe and a balance; they call me Faust.) To dress. Everything goes well and quickly except the boots, which would not accept my little feet; I was obliged to call Adam to force them in. This time we take a groom; he rides very well and is proper, as a servant should be. ^[In English in the original.]

Je dois monter a cheval, ce cheval nouveau. J'ai hate de terminer mes etudes, j'ai encore ajoute une heure de latin et une heure avec Brunet. When my lesson are done I rush out of the room. (J'achetai un globe et une balance, on me nomme Faust) m'habiller. Tout reussit bien et vite excepte les bottes qui ne voulaient pas accepter mes petits pieds, j'etais obligee d'appeler Adam pour les faire entrer. Cette fois nous prenons un ecuyer, il monte tres bien, et est convenable, comme un serviteur doit etre.

He never addressed a single word to me; a Frenchman would have talked incessantly. Paul is becoming a Khalkionoff -- it is truly a pity; he rides like him and has, I believe, the audacity to presume to style his hair like Khalkionoff. Khalkionoff is a very mild and modest boy, etc., but he is not a model. To favour my ride the sun hid itself and there was even a little fog; now and then one saw a pale ray from that luminous orb which brightened the day. This is the weather I love. ^[In English in the original.]

Jamais il ne m'adressa une parole, un Francais parlerait sans cesse. Paul devient un Khalkionoff c'est vraiment dommage; il monte comme lui et a je crois l'audace de presumer de se coiffer comme Khalkionoff; Khalkionoff est un garcon tres doux et modeste etc. mais il n'est pas un modele. Pour favoriser ma promenade le soleil se cacha et il y eut meme un peu de brouillard, parfois on voyait un pale rayon de cet astre lumineux qui egayait la journee. C'est ce weather que j'aime.

My august brother has a very spirited and lively horse that would not follow mine, for I was trotting almost the whole time; this horse has a truly fine trot. He is grey-white but I forgive him on account of his speed at the trot. He would beat trotting another horse galopping. I recognised in Paul's horse one from the races; I asked -- "per voler esser certo di quella fede che vince aqui errore" -- and the man told me it is a racehorse, principally a steeple-chase horse. I am beginning to understand horses. ^["He would beat trotting another horse galopping," "horse," and "steeple-chase" in English in the original. Italian quotation from Dante, Paradiso XXIV.]

Mon auguste frere a un cheval tres fringant et vif qui ne voulait pas suivre le mien car je trottais presque tout le temps, ce cheval a un trot fort bon en verite; il est gris blanc mais je lui pardonne a cause de sa vitesse au trot. He would beat trotting another horse galopping. J'ai reconnu dans le horse de Paul un de courses; j'ai demande "per voler esser certo di quella fede che vince aqui errore" et l'homme me dit que ce cheval est un cheval de course, de steeple chase principalement. Je commence a comprendre les chevaux.

I shall take lessons to improve myself, and I shall stop when I know how to jump barriers, ditches, etc., etc. I want to know how to ride perfectly. I am already on the horse quite comfortable and at ease; I trot well -- that is something. The Howards were on foot, with Gaspard. Helene seems small beside that Rosinante of a Gaspard. I stop a minute to speak to them. Helene seemed to be thinking: you ride well, but wait -- I shall ride, and I am sure of myself. ^[In English in the original.]

Je prendrai des lecons pour me perfectionner et je finirai lorsque je saurai sauter les barrieres, les fosses, etc. etc. Je veux savoir monter parfaitement. Je suis deja sur le cheval quite comfortable et a mon aise, je trotte bien; c'est quelque chose. Les Howard etaient a pied, avec Gaspard. Helene semble petite a cote de cette Rossinante de Gaspard. Je m'arrete une minute leur parler. Helene semblait penser; tu montes bien mais attends, je monterai et je suis sure de moi.

The man said I could take Paul's horse for jumping hedges; it is principally a jumper. My dear brother meets a friend and absolutely insists on going home -- he is an animal "I dare not name." I continue alone and the man follows at a distance. I saw Addy-Brady, Pady, Kady, etc., etc. -- a whole English crowd (second-rate). By a strange whim I went the whole length of the rue de France at a walk, then I began a trot that lasted all the way home. Very good -- this is my first respectable trot. I shall go practice on the racecourse at the Var. I have another half hour of piano. Termosiris dines with us. Everyone abroad. I assure Hitchcock that she is Scotch; I pester her about her being Scotch; I make her Queen of Scotland; I have her enter into conspiracies with Gladstone, Dukes of Cambridge and Argyll and John Bull. Their conferences take place at the porter's lodge of the English church, etc., etc., etc. For my English tomorrow, I wrote her a letter from the Empress of China (myself) addressed to the Queen of Scotland -- rather stupid. ^[In English in the original.]

L'homme a dit que je pourrai prendre le cheval de Paul pour sauter les haies, c'est principalement un sauteur. Mon cher frere rencontre un ami et veut absolument rentrer, c'est un animal "que je n'ose pas nommer". Je continue seule et l'homme me suit a distance. J'ai vu Addy-Brady, Pady, Kady etc. etc. tout un bataclan anglais (deuxieme qualite). J'ai par une etrange fantaisie passe toute la rue de France au pas, ensuite j'ai commence un trot qui dura jusqu'a la maison. C'est bien, c'est mon premier trot respectable. J'irai m'exercer sur le champ de course au Var. J'ai encore une demi-heure de piano. Termosiris dine chez nous. Tous a l'etranger. J'assure Hitchcock qu'elle est Scotch, je l'ennuie avec son being Scotch, je la fais reine of Scotland, je la fais entrer dans des conspirations avec Gladstone, Dukes of Cambridge and Argyll and John Bull. Leurs conferences ont lieu chez le concierge de l'eglise anglaise, etc. etc. etc. Pour mon anglais demain, je lui ai ecrit une lettre de l'imperatrice de Chine (moi) adressee a la reine d'Ecosse, assez bete.

I sit on the edge of the table, and Hitchcock tells me that only ladies in love who sit on the table do so; I persist in holding my pose, so she wants to call me "Duchess of ---" At that I rise, not wishing her to profane that name and wound me. Good night. ^[In English in the original.]

Je m'assieds sur le bout de la table et Hitchcock me dit que ce ne sont que les ladies in love who sit on the table, je persiste a rester dans ma pose alors elle veut m'appeler "Duchess of ---" Sur cela je me leve ne voulant pas qu'elle profanat ce nom et qu'elle me blessat. Bonsoir.