Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Saturday, 23 August 1873

I have barely woken when they begin to arrive: gloves, boots, etc. etc. I see more and more that I need at least three thousand five hundred francs.
Worth will send it cash on delivery — I can do nothing else, for once all my orders are paid, I have left three francs, ten centimes, and one Austrian kreuzer. It seems to me that is clear enough. And my aunt has not enough to pay for my dress. I therefore send it to Nice, and Maman will pay. It is not right; I receive two thousand five hundred francs and I ought to manage — but sometimes a son runs up debts and sends them to his mother, who pays. Why then should not I, a girl, a weaker and more capricious creature — why should I not be allowed one folly?
I did my hair nineteen times and could not succeed. At last we go down (green dress, bad) — I cut the hair too short. I go to Reboux's, but the hats are not ready. It is hot. Then we go to Mantel's, recommended by Worth. The hats are charming. I ordered a dark blue one — one hundred and fifteen francs. Now I know where to go: for dresses, Worth; hats, Mantel; boots, Ferry; gloves, Jouvin. Before going into the shop, we cross the street; a small Frenchman greets us and I hear my aunt exclaim: Bikowsky. It was then I recognized the little fellow — but he has grown ugly with his beard. Before, he had the air of a boy of twenty, and now of a man of thirty-five, and so very small. He was quite delighted to meet us. Tomorrow he lunches with us and we shall take him to the races.
Then on the boulevards, I bought a very fine, practical purse — twenty-two francs at Klein's. Into a few shops. I see the Countess de Galve in a coupe, all in pink and grey, and her cheeks so unnaturally rosy that......
I also bought a black raincoat — one hundred francs — and now I have positively not a sou. I still have five hundred francs, but I must pay three hundred for the dress and two hundred for two hats. Dinner at the restaurant Ledoyen.
The dinner is detestable; from there we took a carriage to Reboux again — not ready.
At home they bring my hat — it is detestable.
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Notes

In English in the original. ↩