Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Saturday, 29 March 1884

The Vicomtesse Pernetti has brought with her Mlle de Castrone, daughter of the Marquise de Castrone known as Marchesi1 — the celebrated singing teacher, the foremost in Europe. This very forward young lady asks to see my studio, and we go there, along with the Turk Missak, who is musician, sculptor, agreeable as all the diplomats I have known; the young lady sings very well, which leads me to... never mind, I am numb. We go to the Italiens this evening; the gentlemen are: Alexis, Saint-Amand, little Sautereau, Julian, Moraes. They give Lucia2 and Gayarré sings... This music is divine and will never age, for it has no stamp of fashion, no tendency save that of expressing sentiments such as love, hatred, sorrow. And these are eternal sentiments — there is still nothing else. Melodrama, you will say — I don't care, provided I am moved. And I am moved when Edouard appears at the top of the steps.

# Samedi 29 mars 1884

As for the moment when, having torn up the contract, he breaks into imprecations — it is maddening. A few little dandies say that Gayarré sings through his nose and shouts. Pack of idiots. True, this man has a miraculous voice, and one thinks neither of technique nor of method while listening to him; he sings like a court singer who has an artist's heart. He shades and expresses and acts while singing. And in the sextet when he says si ingrata, t'amo, t'amo ancora,3 it is absolutely admirable. One hears him alone despite the cries of the others.

Quant au moment où ayant déchiré le contrat il éclate en imprécations, c'est affolant. Quelques petits gommeux disent que Gayarre chante du nez et crie. Tas de crétins. Il est vrai que cet homme a une voix miraculeuse et qu'on ne pense ni à la science ni aux méthodes en l'écoutant; il chante comme un chanteur des cours qui aurait un cœur d'artiste. Il nuance et exprime et joue en chantant. Et dans le sextuor lorsqu'il dit: si ingrata, t'amo, t'amo ancora, c'est absolument admirable. Et on l'entend seul malgré les cris des autres.

A perfect actor would not say it like that — for in Gayarré it is true, it is natural, human, and therefore common to all peoples and all classes.

Un acteur parfait ne le dirait pas ainsi car chez Gayarre c'est vrai, c'est naturel, humain et commun par conséquent à tous les peuples et à toutes les classes.

In the impression of absolutely sincere sentiments, there is only human nature — habits, education, everything disappears, and in those moments... Shakespeare understood this, and Shakespeare is great because he is neither English nor aristocrat nor plebeian and belongs to no epoch. But eternally true like hatred, sorrow, love... and the desire to be placed on the cimaise at the Salon.

Dans l'impression des sentiments *absolument* sincères, il n'y a que la nature humaine, habitudes, éducation, tout disparaît et dans ces moments-là... Shakespeare l'a compris et Shakespeare est grand parce qu'il n'est ni Anglais, ni aristocrate, ni plébéien et d'aucune époque. Mais éternellement vrai comme la haine, la douleur, l'amour... et le désir d'être placé sur la cimaise au Salon.

For after all I have a number 3 — same as last year. It is galling.

Car enfin j'ai le n° 3 comme l'année dernière. C'est raide.

It appears I had so many votes for a number 2 that people thought I had it — but on verification. It is a considerable blow, and with that blow all hopes crumble.

Il paraît que j'ai eu tant de voix pour le n° 2 qu'on a cru que je l'avais mais vérification faite. C'est un coup considérable et de ce coup s'écroulent toutes les espérances.

Especially since my support on the jury was poor: there was Boulanger, Tony, Lefèbvre... So my painting is bad... But then how is it that notoriously inferior things obtained number 2s? One is lost in conjecture, and I should like to believe in injustice...

D'autant plus que j'étais mal soutenue, il y avait Boulanger, Tony, Lefèbvre... C'est donc que mon tableau est mauvais... Alors comment se fait-il que des choses inférieures notoirement aient eu des n° 2 ? On se perd en conjectures et je voudrais croire à l'injustice...

At moments I think they have been very unjust, and then it is a frightful disgust, and I recoil from making efforts to obtain what is my due. And then I believe in my inferiority, and then I am ashamed to ask for favours...

Par moments je crois qu'on a été très injuste et alors c'est un dégoût affreux et j'ai horreur de faire des démarches pour obtenir ce qui *m'est dû.* Et puis je crois à mon infériorité et alors j'ai honte de demander des faveurs...

Since my painting does not impose itself...

Puisque mon tableau ne s'impose pas...

These very dignified sentiments translate into letters to everyone — Gervex, Carolus, etc. etc.

Ces sentiments très dignes se traduisent par des lettres à tout le monde, Gervex, Carolus, etc. etc.

After all, it is dreadful!

Enfin c'est affreux !

Notes

Mathilde Marchesi (1821–1913): renowned mezzo-soprano and voice teacher whose students included Nellie Melba and Emma Calvé; her full name was Mathilde de Castrone Marchesi. ↩
Lucia di Lammermoor (1835): opera by Gaetano Donizetti, one of the great bel canto masterpieces; based on Walter Scott's The Bride of Lammermoor. ↩
Si ingrata, t'amo, t'amo ancora (Italian: "ungrateful one, I love you, I love you still"): from the celebrated sextet in Act II of Lucia di Lammermoor, in which Edgardo confronts Lucia after her marriage to Arturo. ↩