Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Thursday, 8 March 1883

Snow has fallen, but I work all the same.
Émile Bastien comes to see the painting... He finds it good and says it will be well received at the Salon. I was very ashamed to show him this painting — so much in his brother's manner... I would have liked to hide like a thief, and I created a happy (?) digression by bringing up his brother again and the business of the decoration of my studio. That is to say — yesterday at table before Alice and others, he had appeared to fear being taken for a perspective teacher, and I seized on this pretext to write a letter in which I complain bitterly of being taken by his Brother and by him for a fool, for a flashy foreigner — the newspaper business where we appeared to be planting articles about the supposed decoration of the studio... For his brother was furious... And it was I who appeared to have boasted...
In the end it makes me all the angrier as I am a little guilty — for I said that Bastien-Lepage, without specifying, had taken down some draperies at the top of the gallery. I am all the more indignant before the architect to strike his imagination and so that he might enlighten his brother... Oh, but a tirade! For whom do you two take us?
What foreigners have you known? Respectable people are the same everywhere! Do you imagine you are dealing with flashy social climbers who purchase newspaper articles! But are you aware that your suppositions cover us with ridicule! We — I — appear to be parading with famous names! Why, I could have fifty celebrated painters if I wished, and when I wished!
That is how I am rewarded for so greatly admiring your brother's talent! Well, it is truly unworthy. Etc. etc. etc. Which is somewhat true as well. And I am truly furious about this deplorable incident that keeps Bastien-Lepage away from us.
I had left Julian in peace, and he writes me a little note asking if we are truly at odds and that it distresses him, etc. And I reply to him laying out all my grievances and ending with an invitation to dinner.