Wednesday, 11 January 1882

Yesterday I was merry enough to dance! With Bojidar, Melissano, myself, Dina.

We are giving a soirée tomorrow, the eve of New Year's; it has been in preparation for eight days — nearly two hundred and fifty invitations sent out, for many were requested through the Gavinis and others, and Mme de Peyronney who came the day before yesterday. As no one else is receiving yet it will be quite an event, and I believe we shall have very fashionable company; save for two or three Bonapartist ladies who are a little too much in circulation, it will be very good. [Words blacked out: Étincelle gives] a note in her Carnet in the Figaro, accompanying it with a dithyramb in honour of Mlle Marie, pretty painter and so on. [Words blacked out: Besides she] is charming — had she written nothing I would still find her the most charming of plain women; she is more seductive than fifty beauties, and marked besides with that... I know not what quality that is Parisian and peculiar to known personalities; note well what I say, for it is very hard to pin down. You prominent people — famous, men or women, old or young — you all have a certain note in the voice, a certain manner which is the same in all of you, and which I would call the family resemblance of notoriety.

Papa is flattered and delighted; up to now he has only dazzled the geese of Poltava — it is thanks to poor us that he is being introduced into true elegant society. Monday Maman presented him to the Queen... In short, as a setting he does very well for us, but that does not alter the fact that it is thanks to us that he is about to have the pleasures of a Parisian success achieved by his family... With Étincelle and her Carnet, which is read by all that is civilised in Europe and in Poltava.

Cards and very gracious letters are arriving from all sides. La Bailleul proposed to invite Bastien-Lepage — I threw my arms around her neck; she spoke to Mrs Cartwright about it, for it is through her that she knows him; and Mme Cartwright, who has been invited and who says everywhere that she adores me, writes four pages of gracious compliments and puts herself entirely at my disposal for all the Bastien-Lepages I might desire, and invites us to dine with Munkácsy... [Words blacked out: hell] — I have my door into the artistic world... Her daughter, she says, is going to a ball for the first time and is glad that it should be in a house so entirely sympathetic to her... etc. Mme Cartwright is an American, very beautiful, very rich, who receives many artists. Mixed company. She does much for Breslau, who has made all her artistic friendships there.

There will be the two Coquelins. Coquelin aîné, Leon's friend, came yesterday at five o'clock to see the rooms and agree on the choice of pieces. [Words blacked out: Gavini] was there; he is tiresome, this Corsican with his knowing airs — he was nearly giving advice to Coquelin. Who is, by the way, very agreeable — a good fellow, talks well, and does NOT make one feel [words blacked out: for even a single instant that unease which many] people experience before a stranger who is someone.

The portrait is finished — it is not yet right!! It is not even what I am capable of... It is less than that! How difficult it is! The colour is... ravishing, fresh without harshness, velvety, youthful.

I should like to watch Bastien-Lepage paint.

And my family, showing my paintings!... I know most people understand nothing about them — but my humility in the depths of my heart and soul is such that I believe I see inexorable judges everywhere; [words blacked out: illegible] a donkey stopped before my painting takes on for me the proportions of a Michelangelo, and I feel like asking his forgiveness on my knees for having done so badly.