Friday, 16 April 1880

Being in the mood for something wild, I played baccarat with Soutzo for absurd sums — differences of three and four thousand francs for amusement — but I absolutely wanted to end up winning or losing two louis, just for the pleasure of having a creditor or a debtor. It is droll.
On the whole I am kinder to the gentleman, while being absolutely as I am with a model — maternal and mocking.
It is his strawberries and vegetables that have done everything — you see, had he not thought of all that, I would not even be mocking; I would be indifferent or disgusted.
My Récamier costume brings no luck; I was beautiful yesterday and all for nothing. For the crude admiration of the artist Caillas non sufficit.