Saturday, 16 November 1878

Today Robert-Fleury was very pleased with Breslau and urged her to submit something for the Salon, adding that she would be accepted — he would answer for it.
I have equaled Breslau in drawing; what she has beyond me is practice. Now I must give myself so many months to paint as well as she — for if I cannot manage that, I am nothing extraordinary.
You see, it must be said — I have just returned from Versailles where I was with Maman and Dina and Gavini; I am up to my neck in politics, which is foolish but that is how it is. I read the Republicans, who calm me by denigrating Cassagnac; I also read the reactionaries, who irritate me by glorifying him.
What dreadful mockery of fate! Why am I a woman! Displaced, useless, absurd. Paul would make such a charming girl — and I would make a celebrated man.