Friday, 26 April 1878

He was not lying after all when he said he had a long article to write. I read it as usual.
But what a fright this morning! Grandfather nearly died. Thank God he is better.
We go to church at three o'clock — it is our Good Friday. All this makes me think of my vow and my promise of last Sunday... I ask nothing better than to keep it.
Ah! If only it were already Monday so that I might resume in earnest my studies, so uselessly interrupted by Schaeppi's fittings!
I was no more foolish yesterday than on the occasions when I have those cutting remarks that Multedo adores. If one were to believe everything my brother says, one's head would be turned by one's foot alone. That is his weak side — his infirmity.
A cottage and her foot!! That is his motto. Fortunately I do not believe what he says, otherwise I should have to believe I am the most marvellously extraordinary creature in the world. And all this from the fraternal and artistic point of view... it is a genuine charm. As for my wit — he has said nothing to me of it bluntly and plainly, but I am authorised to believe I am prodigiously amusing...
What a shameless joker. Oh! There speaks my modesty. No matter — I am still a little under the spell of a flattery as flattering as it was artistically administered. He was in a good humour yesterday, that devil of a man; as for me it was impossible to be coquettish — I had quite forgotten to be, and one had to content oneself with a perfectly natural manner. When I am in good humour I must be kind to everyone; to Cassagnac as well, no doubt; so I claim no credit — only if, put into good spirits by some Mlle Acard or other, he comes to pay us his courtesies... Lord, disinterested as I am, I should find that damnably detestable.
What style, what language! One can see I have been seeing Paul de Cassagnac.