Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Friday, 17 December 1875

The weather is bad; I stay at home and tell Collignon everything there is to tell of Audiffret, the Sapogenikoffs, and so on.

Il fait mauvais temps, je reste chez moi et raconte tout ce qu'il a y a raconter d'Audiffret, [des] Sapogenikoff, etc. a Collignon.

Barnola comes and recounts the Francia ball.

Barnola vient, et raconte le bal de Francia.

"Audiffret was sullen," he says — "sad; he seemed bored."

- Audiffret etait maussade, dit-il, triste, il avait l'air ennuye.

That gladdens my heart.

Cela me rejouit le coeur.

Was it on account of this absence that he was sad? No matter — he did not enjoy himself, and I am pleased. This evening at the Opera: Le Barbier.1 Again!

Est-ce a cause de cette absence qu'il etait triste ? N'importe, il ne s'est pas amuse, je suis contente. Ce soir a l'Opera, "Le Barbier". Encore !

Barnola stays until the second interval, then takes his leave, saying:

Barnola reste jusqu'au second entracte, et s'en va en disant:

"I leave the place to your visitors."

- Je laisse la place a vos visiteurs.

Audiffret and the Comte de Tournon come. The Surprising One asks permission to present his friend M. Bergerault, goes to fetch him, and returns with him. Then he seats himself — in mid-air, as it were — and begins to rattle off a string of nonsense; he speaks of my caricatures, and even of our escapade to the Tower,2 in a tone that would shake the faith of the most credulous. I tell him he is being very naïve to believe in such an impossibility, that it was all a joke.

Audiffret et le comte de Tournon viennent. Le Surprenant demande la permission de presenter son ami M. Bergerault, s'en va le chercher et revient avec lui. Puis s'assied dans l'air, et commence a raconter un tas de betises, parle de mes caricatures et meme de notre escapade a la Tour d'un air qui entamerait la croyance du plus croyant, je lui dis qu'il etait bien naif de croire a une pareille impossibilite, qu'on avait plaisante.

"And how should I come to your house, in disguise and without knowing you? Come now — you never really believed that!"

- Et comment irais-je chez vous, deguisee et sans vous connaitre ? Vous n'avez jamais cru cela serieusement voyons !

Tournon is beside me and talks to me the whole time.

Tournon est a cote de moi et me parle tout le temps.

I looked at him — I looked at Belle-de-Jour3 — I like Belle-de-Jour better than Bergerault — and then I looked at the Surprising One. Che differenza!4

Je l'ai regarde, j'ai regarde Belle-de-Jour, j'aime mieux Belle-de-Jour que Bergerault, et puis j'ai regarde le Surprenant. Che differenza !

Tournon has black teeth, Belle-de-Jour has a swarthy complexion. Audiffret has everything pretty.

Tournon a les dents noires,

But at this moment Loftus comes back to my mind — his ravishing skin, his complexion, his Hamilton-like expression,5 that air he has about his mouth that makes him resemble Hamilton and the Apollo Belvedere.6 To say "I love the Surprising One," I make the face of a knowing woman, indulgent and laughing eyes, pouting lips — but to say "I love Loftus," I close my eyes, tilt my head back, and pressing my heart's beating with my hand, I feel myself no longer alive.

Mais en ce moment Loftus me revient a l'esprit, sa peau ravissante, son teint, son expression hamiltonienne, cet air qu'il a dans la bouche et qui le fait ressembler a Hamilton et a l'Apollon du Belvedere. Pour dire, j'aime le Surprenant, je fais une mine de rouee, des yeux indulgents et rieurs, et j'allonge les levres, mais pour dire: j'aime Loftus, je ferme les yeux, renverse la tete en arriere et comprimant les battements de mon coeur avec la main, je ne me sens plus vivre.

Do you understand the difference? Yes — you understand.

Comprenez-vous la difference ? Oui, vous comprenez.

There was a firm pressing of the hand and a slight tremor.

Il y a eu une forte pression de la main et une legere secousse.

After the lesson act7 we leave.

Apres l'acte de la lecon nous partons.

I leave enchanted — I have passed a charming evening.

Je pars enchantee, j'ai passe une soiree charmante.

I had a great many things to say — I am a little giddy and forget everything.

J'avais un tas de choses a dire, je suis un peu etourdie, j'oublie tout.

Notes

Le Barbier de Séville (The Barber of Seville): opera by Rossini (1816), based on Beaumarchais's comedy; one of the most frequently performed operas at Nice that season. ↩
The Tower (la Tour): Audiffret's residence, the Tour Audiffret in Nice; rumour had circulated that Marie had visited him there in disguise — an incident she consistently denied. ↩
Belle-de-Jour (Day-beauty): Marie's nickname for another young man of her acquaintance, named after the morning glory flower. ↩
==Che differenza!== (Italian): What a difference! — In Italian in the original. ↩
Hamilton-like expression (expression hamiltonienne): Lord Claud Hamilton, or the Duke of Hamilton — Marie's repeated standard of male beauty, characterised by a particular aristocratic fairness and bearing. ↩
The Apollo Belvedere: the celebrated ancient marble in the Vatican Museums, the canonical ideal of male beauty in Western art. ↩
The lesson act: Act II of Il Barbiere di Siviglia, in which Rosina takes a singing lesson under Almaviva's disguise — one of the most celebrated comic scenes in Italian opera. ↩