Tuesday, 2 September 1873

The first day since the interruption of my studies, I rise at five o'clock. I read The Precipice, but I never have the patience to finish a novel. I wrote to Lise, answering her letter from two days ago. Today has been particularly stormy, everyone is quarrelling. Grand-papa is unbearable; he will end up devouring Maman alive!
I was speaking loudly, wanting to be heard in the midst of this chaos, and they began to scold me. I tried to explain myself, still raising my voice, but they took my explanation for a scene.
Henceforth I shall no longer explain myself, so as to keep my promise (grey dress, good). I took from Maman a locket, a white shield with an enamelled red cross. An English jewel, simple but fine. I go out with the Princess on various errands -- first, to have my cheval glass gilded (it is not quite a cheval glass, but never mind). To buy a pencil, have my ball buttons mended, and buy white tulle to trim my bed. I shall make something pretty of it; I like having a pretty bed. It will be all in white tulle, simple and elegant. No doubt I should prefer not simple, but we are in rented rooms and leaving Nice in a year at least, so it is not worth spending the time and money. Once we are settled in Paris, I shall have an all-white bed and an all-white room, or sky blue. Even in Paris I would do the bed in tulle muslin and that sort of thing; I cannot have satin, gold, lace, an alcove, lights as I should like, as long as I am unmarried. After dinner I go out in the carriage without a hat; it is dark, the moon is shining. Grand-papa starts up his litany -- he is truly abominable. The Princess says she would go mad if she lived with him. The name Hamilton was uttered several times; I blushed again, but it was dark.
Papa says among other things:
-- Hamilton, her husband... (Gioia).
Is it possible that anyone could believe in such a disgrace? He, the Duke of Hamilton -- a descendant of I know not what royal family -- marry a... no, I cannot believe it. She is still in Nice. Every summer she comes to Nice at this time. Maman saw her sitting on the balcony with her monkey and two foxes.
No matter what I say, I am devilishly taken with this Hamilton; truly, I love him. Every minute I think of "his muzzle."
Bensa came; I gave him the list of subjects so that he might send me professors from the lycee.
At last I shall set to work. On account of that scoundrel Collignon and the journey, I have lost four months. That is enormous!
I read in Le Derby about the races at Porchefontaine; the Duke was absent and they cheated with his horse. I searched for him in vain.