Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Monday, 7 January 1884

Portrait of Dina. At three o'clock the Maréchale comes to collect Claire and me for a visit to Boulanger. This old-schooler is horrified by the indecent Manet exhibition. And at the École, of all places!
"It is revolting! Where are we going!" I agree with him so thoroughly that Claire wanders off to rummage in the corners of the studio so as not to burst out laughing — she who knows what I actually think.
This [words blackened: good Boulanger] said very flattering things to me — he knows what I have exhibited. (He is one of Julian's professors, for the men's class.)
It seems to me that everything is over — that no one will ever love me again... as I am... and besides, I am going to die.
Cheerful thoughts!

Notes

Gustave Boulanger (1824–1888): Prix de Rome winner, professor at the École des Beaux-Arts and at the Académie Julian (men's division). Known for historical and orientalist subjects. His hostility to Manet's posthumous retrospective reflects the academic establishment's continued suspicion of Impressionism. ↩