Friday, 9 December 1881

Villevieille and Brisbane, staying for dinner, bring news from the studio. Tchernitsky dines too. Carrier-Belleuse pays a visit; he is very kind. As for me, I am in despair. There is a drawing by Breslau in La Vie Moderne. Had I not wept so much, I might have turned my illness to use and done some sketches and studies. But my hands still tremble a little. The lung is clear, but the temperature remains at 38.3. A fine figure I cut, regaling you with all these details. I feel lost, and dare not ask for any news for fear of hearing that Breslau is busy doing this and that and so on. Ah! My God, hear me, give me strength, have pity on me.