Wednesday, 20 April 1881

Dreamed of Soutzo — not pleasant.
The imbeciles will laugh because — for all my professed ideas — I am devastated not to have an invitation to the Queen's.
I would point out to them that it is not amusing — the de Lesseps, Mme Adam, the pharmacist Krishaber — and now it is the innocent Isabelle. Maman went to the Mirandas', and he said it was simply an oversight and that he would bring the invitation.
Maman has somehow made the acquaintance of Count Kapnist, counsellor at the Russian embassy, and they greet each other every time at church; the other Sunday she introduced her husband, who left his card at Kapnist's, and today Kapnist left his in return. And then this morning at church (this is our Holy Week) Orloff approached my father, shook his hand, and said he was very glad to see him and had already met him in Brussels. My father has never been to Brussels, and I believe the prince took him for someone else — but Maman insists he first asked something of Kapnist.
But Maman loves to invent little pleasant things and ends by believing them herself. Nothing is so foolish as arranging matters for one's own particular benefit and that of those close to one — everyone knows it is a tissue of fibs; what pleasure can there be in deceiving oneself! Well.
This evening I commit a grave sin — I go to church to hear the Passion Gospels, and all to display myself in a very close-fitting black dress, hatless, with ringlets down the back, my face lit by a taper. You cannot imagine how flattering it is — even old women and plain ones look fresher and have beautiful eyes by candlelight.

Notes

Juliette Adam (née Lamber, 1836–1936): writer and prominent political hostess, founder of the Nouvelle Revue in 1879; a central figure in republican Parisian society. Marie clearly finds her receptions dull by comparison with the Queen's court.
Prince Nikolai Orloff (1827–1885): Russian ambassador to France 1871–1882, a great figure in Paris diplomatic society. He was known for his cosmopolitanism and his proximity to French cultural life.