Saturday, 12 October 1878

Dear Paul,

I truly do not know why you imagine you owe your mother only a little affection in your spare moments. Affection for the authors of our days is a sentiment natural to all animals — dogs, cats, hyenas, etc. What we, as human beings, owe them additionally is deference. I do not involve myself in your relations with her; I assume them to be proper. But what I have the right to oversee is your improper, ill-bred, and coarse conduct toward your mother.

There are people who think that because it is Maman it does not matter, and that one does not owe her even the ordinary politeness one has for a stranger.

Il y a des gens qui pensent que parce que c'est maman ce n'est rien et qu'on ne lui doit pas la vulgaire politesse qu'on a pour une personne étrangère.

Why do you fear to vex your father and yet have no concern about offending your mother, who has had you on her hands for fourteen years?... Because your daily comfort does not depend on her; because your father would say coarse and unkind things to you; and because your mother will say nothing — she being in Paris and you in Poltava? In truth, if those are the only pressures your mind and heart submit to, I pity you. For a whim you neglect appeals that would have brought another running — too happy to find that his mother loves him and wishes to see him.

Pourquoi craignez-vous de contrarier votre père et n'avez-vous aucun souci d'offenser votre mère qui vous a eu pendant quatorze ans sur les bras... Parce que votre repos de chaque jour ne dépend pas d'elle, parce que votre père, vous dirait des grossièretés et des méchancetés et parce que votre mère ne vous dira rien, elle étant à Paris et vous à Poltava ? En vérité si ce ne sont que des pressions de ce genre que subissent votre esprit et votre cœur je vous plains. Pour un caprice vous négligez des appels qui auraient fait accourir un autre trop heureux de voir que sa mère l'aime et désire le voir.

Suppose this occurred between mere acquaintances, and I assure you that even then the gentleman who acted as you do would be considered quite ungracious. Now, if what I have just said does not touch you, it is because you are truly cowardly by nature, and these sentiments are not made for you. Good day.

That is the official letter; now know that Maman is very ill, and that this evening she fell on the carpet senseless, and is now confined to bed. (I forbid you to show this letter, for I do not wish some wretch to have the wit to make sport of the fainting spells.) Our joys and our sorrows are not written down for you to be profaned, blighted, soiled by hateful, stupid, and cowardly words. But let us say no more of these horrors.

I earnestly counsel you to come. If you wish to give Maman pleasure. We do not know whether we shall keep her long, and if she were to die I am sure you would be desolate (cretinised as you are) at not having done what she desires.

Marie

My academic study was found: very well, very well, very well.

Mon académie a été trouvée très bien, très bien, très bien.

"Ah! you are well organised, and if you work you will do whatever you wish."

- Ah ! vous êtes bien organisée vous, et si vous travaillez vous ferez ce que vous voudrez.

I am blasé about praise — (I say blasé for form's sake) — and the proof that Robert-Fleury is not lying is that I am envied on all sides. And it is stupid... but it pains me. There must be something to it for them to say such things each time — a man as serious and conscientious as Robert-Fleury. As for Julian, he says that if I knew everything that is said about me it would go to my head.

Je suis blasée sur les louanges, (je dis blasée pour la forme), et la preuve que Robert-Fleury ne ment pas c'est qu'on m'envie de tous côtés. Et c'est bête... mais cela me fait de la peine. Il faut qu'l y ait quelque chose pour qu'on me dise de telles choses chaque fois, un homme aussi sérieux et consciencieux que Robert-Fleury. Quant à Julian il dit que si je savais tout ce qu'on dit de moi cela me tournerait la tête.

"It would intoxicate you, Mademoiselle Marie," said the maid.

- Cela vous griserait Mlle Marie, dit la bonne.

I always fear that those who read me will think I am flattered because I am rich. That matters nothing — I pay no more than others, and others have connexions, friendships, kinships with the masters. Besides, at the hour when you read me there will be no more doubts about what I am worth. Ah! I must at least be compensated on that side!

Je crains toujours que ceux qui me liront ne pensent qu'on me flatte parce que je suis riche. Cela ne fait rien, je ne paye pas plus que les autres et les autres ont des protections, des amitiés, des parentés avec les professeurs. D'ailleurs à l'heure où vous me lirez il n'y aura plus de doutes sur ce que je vaudrai. Ah ! il faut bien que je sois compensée de ce côté !

It is good to see the respect accorded to one for one's personal merit.

C'est bon de voir le respect qu'on vous accorde pour votre mérite personnel.

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