Wednesday, 10 July 1878

The company is augmented by Monsieur and Madame Afrossimoff. I for my part read my Livy. Maman writes that Multedo comes to see her, complains of Paris being empty, and says he is going to fight a duel with a journalist who insulted his father. A story of imitating the other. I have often told him that to reach the age of thirty-two and never to have fought was rather strange in these times.
It is raining. I cannot even imagine marrying Multedo without a feeling of disgust. If he had three hundred thousand francs a year, it would still be possible — there would be an excuse, and at every revolt of the heart or the body I could give myself some good conclusive reason. But without money, without love!
He is ambitious, the wretch — he knows I am ambitious and he wants my money. What horror!
Multedo says, laughing, that I am heartbroken by Paul de Cassagnac's marriage. — You cannot love anyone, he says — it was ambition speaking! To marry the leader, the future leader of the party... In my foolishness I had forgotten ambition — I thought only of the man. That is why I let it happen! I believed this man was nothing but a ladies' man; I believed he only appeared to be something in my eyes! Every time I hear him spoken of with consideration and respect... I rage! The other day Tchernicheff, the old irresistible one, called him an enfant terrible.