Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Wednesday, 2 August 1876

While waiting for other joys, my hair has begun to fall out.
Whoever has never experienced it cannot understand what pain it is to see one's hair falling out.
Étienne telegraphs from Konotop — only today does he set out. Another twenty-four hours of Eydkühnen, if you please. A grey sky, a cold wind, a few Jews in the street, from time to time the noise of a cart, and anxieties of every kind in abundance.
This evening my aunt wished to make me speak of Rome... It is a long time since I have wept — not from love, no — but it is from humiliation, at the memory of our life in Nice, in Rome, everywhere, that I wept this evening!
It is not the loss of Pietro Antonelli that tears me apart, as you know — it is this thought: that they dared to judge me unworthy!!