Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Sunday, 28 January 1883

What now? There are exactly twelve hours since I last complained... I am quite annoyed because of Bastien. And I think his idiot of a brother is partly to blame... He will have spoken of me everywhere in very flattering terms; it will have been repeated that Bastien-Lepage is mad about Mlle Bashkirtseff — which of the two Bastiens?

Quoi encore ? Mais il y a juste douze heures que je ne me suis plainte...

In the meantime, the real one has naturally been attributed to me — and there we are. And there is my fine situation.

En attendant on m'a attribue le vrai naturellement et voila. Et me voila bien.

But really, it is intolerable! I have had enough. I will not have it!!!!

Mais enfin, c'est insupportable ! Mais j'en ai assez. Mais je ne veux plus !!!!

I must write three times a day now... And I have rather a headache, and for that to happen to me I must be very put out, o my God.

Il faut que j'ecrive trois fois par jour a present...

Mme de Bailleul comes to dinner and relates the following. That women furious at not having been invited, and someone very wicked in the Russian colony, wish us the worst. Articles in newspapers have been arranged or will be arranged against us... And then yesterday, Saturday, our day, people were to come to our house to make a scene. Who? She therefore wrote to me. All this is idiotic.

La Bailleul vient diner et raconte ceci.

— But dear Comtesse, I say to her, it seems quite extraordinary to me that the Gil Blas should publish some little infamy — that is possible, it attacks heaven and earth — but what you say is entirely astonishing... Who? And on what pretext?

- Mais chere Comtesse, lui dis-je, ca me parait bien extraordinaire...

— Why, Mme Mackay, who is so wicked... You know perfectly well...

- Mais Mme Mackay qui est si mechante... Vous savez bien...

— But I haven't the slightest idea about it... I don't know her, we don't know her, there is nothing in common between us; Bastien came to our house, but so did Carolus, so did Saint-Marceaux, Wenecker, Caillas, Robert-Fleury, a whole crowd of others...

- Mais je ne m'en fais pas la moindre idee... Je ne la connais pas...

Then, seeing me take it thus:

Alors me voyant prendre ca comme ca:

— In any case, I tell you this because it was said that he admired you, wanted to marry you — how should I know...

— Enfin je vous dis ca, parce qu'on a dit qu'il vous admirait, voulait vous epouser; est-ce que je sais...

— Marry me! Well, he can think again.

— M'epouser ! Eh bien *il peut* se fouiller.

— She imagined it, and so you understand...

— Elle s'est imaginee ca et alors vous comprenez...

— It is quite astonishing.

— C'est tout a fait etonnant.

What do you say to that? I say that I have the gossip-mania and would do well to rid myself of it.

Qu'en dites-vous ? Je dis que j'ai la manie du potin et que je ferais bien de m'en defaire.

We go this evening to the Kanchines' — they came three times, they receive on Sunday evenings, they are respectable Russians, and I make this sacrifice of going out... 11 rue Murillo; one does not dance, fortunately, but one talks, and then while everyone is gathered around the tea table, a lady sings.

Nous allons ce soir chez les Kanchine...

Mme Kanchine presents to me at once Molinari and Texier — two celebrated old gentlemen — and entrusts them to me as to a superior woman who will enjoy herself in the company of these two minds. This superior woman vaguely knows that Molinari writes; as for Texier... I am entirely ignorant of him. I may as well admit it here. The noise of conversations was such that I did not suffer at all — you know that I hear perfectly in the midst of noise... It required some effort, I confess, not to say foolish things, knowing nothing, nothing, nothing about my two old gentlemen, but I managed, aided by the vanity of seeing myself watched by the whole salon in serious conversation with distinguished men.

Mme Kanchine me presente aussitot Molinari et Texier...

Mesdames Gavini, Randouin, and Linsingen were there.

Mesdames Gavini, Randouin, Linsingen etaient la.