Tuesday, 14 May 1878

Characteristic features.
People are alarmed when I cough; I wage battles for the right to have windows open, and so forth. Yet on the other hand, they leave me alone for half an hour on the staircase of the rue Vivienne, where everyone passes — men going to the Club which is in the building, others coming and going — and this street is one of the least respectable in Paris. Tired of waiting, I take a cab and return home quite alone. And this happens twice a week, sometimes three times. And it matters nothing — nor do the horrors and scandals of the monster.
And then a host of indelicacies over money... Shame on them!
The Prince de Bourbon paid assiduous court to my aunt while she was in Nice, and swore to her every day that he had not proposed to Mlle Blanc. If I had so much as 100,000 francs a year I would take him immediately.
What wretchedness! A mere 100,000 francs, and not to have them! I would not for anything in the world purchase someone who pleases me — that would be to ruin it; but an indifferent one, a name, a title — with pleasure.
Ah, dear God, if I had those 100,000 francs a year. How perfectly I should be Princesse de Bourbon — and how well I should live!... and perhaps honestly as well.