Diary of Marie Bashkirtseff
CZENUKFR

Friday, 28 December 1877

The Polish girl tried to assert her authority; I reprimanded her; Forchhammer, understanding nothing, took her side — and I should tell you that it was in defence of Forchhammer, called the Lamb, that the great schism among the Swiss girls took place. In short, the Lamb wept and begged my pardon, which was highly entertaining; I put on severe airs that she took quite seriously. I have no time to recount all the little dramas that punctuate atelier life. Breslau and I always talk at length, never with the others; with the others I merely joke, because they are all riffraff and... incompetent, whereas Breslau has talent — there are only the two of us.

# Vendredi 28 décembre 1877

Zurlo came by in the evening on his way back; we talked of Naples... I wanted to go... No! I should regret it, I know I should regret it if I went.

Zurlo au retour le soir, on a parlé de Naples... j'ai eu envie d'y aller... Non ! Je le regretterais, je sais, je le regretterais si j'y allais.

My imagination grazes upon Paul de Cassagnac; he is enough for me at the moment, I am very busy. He has certain inflections of voice and certain manners that are precisely the right tone — exactly the one that pleases me.

Mon imagination effleure Paul de Cassagnac; il me suffit pour le moment, je suis très occupée. Il a certaines intonations de voix et certaines manières qui sont justement dans *le ton juste,* juste celui que me plaît.

It is strange — there are people who have... I do not know what, something that is made precisely to please you, a gesture, a word, a nothing; but it is that nothing, that something one does not find in others... which makes them the only ones who seem your equals, who amuse you.

C'est drôle, il y a des gens qui ont... je ne sais quoi qui est fait justement de façon à vous plaire, un geste, un mot, un rien mais c'est ce rien, ce quelque chose qu'on ne retrouve pas chez les autres... ce qui fait que ce ne sont que ces gens-là qui vous paraissent vos semblables, qui vous amusent.

It is not that I am mad about Cassagnac, but one must say that he has that something, and certain inflections of his voice come back to me suddenly and give me pleasure.

Ce n'est pas que je sois folie de Cassagnac, mais il faut dire qu'il a ce quelque chose et que certaines intonations de sa voix me reviennent tout à coup et me font plaisir.

Before, I would say: what it is to have nothing to do! I am no longer idle — but it is in my nature. Alexandre is... worn to the thread, and since there is no one else I think of Cassagnac, whom I have seen twice... I dream of him as I dream of my Prix de Rome, of all manner of foolishnesses; I say all this to keep you informed, so that you may know who is the hero of the novels I compose. For the most part I think of drawing — but to be honest I must admit I devote a good ten minutes or a quarter of an hour in every twenty-four to these novels. It is harmless.

Avant je disais : faut-il être désœuvrée ! Je ne suis plus désœuvrée, mais c'est dans ma nature. Alexandre est... usé jusqu'à la corde, et comme il n'y a personne je songe à Cassagnac que j'ai vu deux fois... j'y rêve comme à mon prix de Rome, comme à toutes sortes de bêtises; je dis tout cela pour vous tenir au courant, pour que vous sachiez quel est le héros des romans que je compose. Pour la plupart je pense au dessin, mais pour ne pas mentir il faut avouer que j'accorde bien dix minutes ou un quart d'heure dans les vingt-quatre heures pour ces romans. C'est inoffensif.