Wednesday, 10 November 1875

Dina and I had the good fortune to see the fiery lord of the castle at his window.
While we are at the concert, he passes us in his neat little carriage and, far from avoiding my gaze, salutes. He could easily have not saluted — the landau was half closed and he passed very quickly.
What a handsome boy.
Does he at least say to himself: what a pretty girl?
Antonoff and Nemekoff are near us. See what handsome men!
The concert over, we go up to my Graces' and strut about on their balcony. Bibi passes and does not even look up — to my great satisfaction, for Olga was flushed and eager!
Ah! but I was on the point of leaving at two o'clock for Paris — but the Opera première is announced for Saturday, so I stay, after hesitating for three hours. Weak character!
I shall leave Sunday.
What a pity I have no low-cut dress. I have such beautiful arms. In Nice they have never seen such whiteness and such form.
[Two lines cancelled]
I walk with Maman — I prefer it with her, for I am taller than Maman, who is of average height, while my aunt is a full half-head taller than I.
Not a soul we know.
— It seems you please, my mother says to me with satisfaction; everyone is looking at you.
— It is because I am in white, I replied modestly.
Audiffret passes in his carriage and salutes again.
I no longer blush.
— How pale he is, said Maman.
— Perhaps he is ill, I said, laughing — for Madame my mother would like to attribute his pallor to something else. But he passes along the Promenade once more, going in the same direction as we walk.
— Good God, cried Maman, how he looks! It is the first time I have seen him fix you so. Our eyes met — I even turned away abruptly, for he was piercing you with his gaze.
— Really! But no, it is his manner of looking at everyone — it is the nature of his eyes.
— No, no — ah! but — she resumed, as if talking to herself — I have never seen him look like that, and how pale he is!
We wait a rather long time for the carriage, sitting on a bench; night is falling, but I am not afraid — I am so well known.