Tuesday, 8 September 1874

I feel as unwell as in the last days at Spa. It is a deplorable state. I have the strength to get into the carriage, however, and to go round the shops. I ordered a grey waterproof,¹ a parasol with medallion and dagger, and I bought a riding crop. The list of things bought or ordered: costume -- Wolmershausen: 11 pounds; riding habit -- Paole: 10 pounds; waterproof -- Scott: 3 pounds; parasol -- Saugster: 4 pounds; hat -- Brown: 2 pounds; hat -- Harman: 18 shillings; riding crop -- Ellam: 2 pounds 4 shillings. But a disagreeable thing happens: there is no more money. It seems we left with [illegible]. Oh! When, my God, will I finish this bohemian life?!! When at last shall I live as I like?! I am more and more enamoured of London. From Ostende, Nice attracted me; from London, it repels me. I do not care for it; it can go to the devil. It rains several times, but despite this I am delighted. We have been to Hyde Park. What immensity, what beauty! There were few people; I imagine what it must be during the Season! Never have I found anything so fine, so congenial, so according to my taste as London and English life. I am so satisfied I do not know how to say it; I find so many beautiful things, so much comfort pushed to the extreme, so much luxury! I have already said that everything is so beautiful, well kept, well made, that I should like to buy it all. Especially the food; the fruits are admirable, like nowhere else. How I envy those great English lords, and above all those Englishwomen! So far all the women I have seen were nothing but dreadful Hitchcocks. One must come to London to see such bustles and chignons! [Crossed out: Besides] I am mistaken: these sublime beauties do us the honour of coming to our countries; everywhere one meets them -- those satisfied airs, those upturned noses, those monstrous chignons, those flat feet, those padded petticoats, those shawls! Who created these particular beings? I dine as I did six months ago in Nice, and afterwards go upstairs, write, and go to bed. I forget to say that before dinner we had a visit from Foster I. I pray God not to be ill tomorrow! My aunt howled the whole day. I understand that Mlle Collignon adores the English and England, and that she was almost impertinent (her breeding prevented her from being very much so) with the fools who speak ill of them. Only those who have not been to England can speak ill of it. From this moment I become the most fervent defender of this paradise and its demigods. There is only England; one may go to other countries on a whim, for a change -- often one takes the worse. But in reality there is only England. Poor little Paris -- a modest village beside this immense, supernatural city. There are such riches and such luxury here that I myself could not invent more -- or perhaps with effort I could manage a little more. My sole desire and my constant prayer shall be to live here and become as English as I can.