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Thursday, 29 December 1881
Eight days since I wrote — which [blacked out: proves] to you that my glorious existence has revolved around a little work, Mother Gavini, Villevieille and so on. Nothing new — and yet, yes, I amVoila huit jours que je n'ai ecrit, ca vous [Mot noirci: demontre] que ma glorieuse existence a roule entre un peu de travail, la mere Gavini, Villevieille etc. etc. Rien de neuf pourtant si, je me
well — I go out; I went to try on dresses, to the Bois, and to Julian's.
Saturday with Maman and Dina... And Sunday to church, so that no one should say I am at death's door as charming Berthe is telling everyone. On the contrary — I am filling out again; the thin and withered arms of ten days ago are rounding out. That is to say, I am doing far better than before my illness. Eight more days like this and I shall have to stop putting on weight — I shall be just right, for I do not wish to recover the rather angular hips of three years ago. Julian, who came last evening, finds me much more harmonious this way.
We laughed all evening. I am doing the portrait of Paul's wife; yesterday I had such a return of strength that I wanted to paint Dina, Nini and Irma all at once. [Words blacked out: Irma is not an ordinary model — she is the type] now vanished, they say, of the grisette: she is comical and sentimental, with the innocences of vice. "When you have become a kept woman," I said to her the other day. "Oh! I [words blacked out: am not lucky] enough for that." She poses intelligently; one can make of her what one wishes, for with her extraordinary pallor she is equally well a candid young girl or [words blacked out: an abyss of] depravity, like all these loose women. She asked permission to stay even when not sitting, and spent the afternoon doing crochet before the fire.
Saturday with Maman and Dina... And Sunday to church, so that no one should say I am at death's door as charming Berthe is telling everyone. On the contrary — I am filling out again; the thin and withered arms of ten days ago are rounding out. That is to say, I am doing far better than before my illness. Eight more days like this and I shall have to stop putting on weight — I shall be just right, for I do not wish to recover the rather angular hips of three years ago. Julian, who came last evening, finds me much more harmonious this way.
We laughed all evening. I am doing the portrait of Paul's wife; yesterday I had such a return of strength that I wanted to paint Dina, Nini and Irma all at once. [Words blacked out: Irma is not an ordinary model — she is the type] now vanished, they say, of the grisette: she is comical and sentimental, with the innocences of vice. "When you have become a kept woman," I said to her the other day. "Oh! I [words blacked out: am not lucky] enough for that." She poses intelligently; one can make of her what one wishes, for with her extraordinary pallor she is equally well a candid young girl or [words blacked out: an abyss of] depravity, like all these loose women. She asked permission to stay even when not sitting, and spent the afternoon doing crochet before the fire.
porte bien, je sors; je suis allee essayer des robes et au Bois et chez Julian...